“How can I stop addictive thoughts about someone who’s wrong for me?”
When we really like someone but know there are signs of problems, we’ll often overvalue them for their charisma and charm . . . and set ourselves up for massive future heartbreak.
If you find yourself getting fixated on someone too quickly—trying to make them fit into a relationship based on who they could be—then watch this week’s video (taken from my Live Retreat) to figure out when someone is truly worthy of your investment.
The post Addicted to a Man Who Isn’t Right for You? WATCH THIS appeared first on Get The Guy.
Chapter 1: The Psychology Behind Addictive Thoughts and Wrong Attractions
Addictive thoughts in wrong relationships stem from a tendency to idealize or romanticize the person we’re infatuated with. Instead of seeing them for who they truly are, we construct a fantasy in our minds, believing that they possess qualities and traits that we desire. This cognitive distortion can be dangerous because it blinds us to the reality of the situation. We ignore any red flags or evidence that the person may not align with our values or fulfill our emotional needs.
Psychologists often refer to this pattern as love addiction, as it shares similarities with other forms of addiction. When we are attracted to someone, our brains release chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which are associated with pleasure and bonding. This creates a “rush” that can be addictive and fuels our desire to be with that person. We become hooked on the intense emotions and the temporary relief they offer from our everyday lives.
Chapter 2: Understanding Needs vs Wants in Relationships
In order to break free from addictive thoughts, it’s crucial to understand the distinction between needs and wants in relationships. Needs are the fundamental requirements for a healthy and fulfilling partnership, such as trust, respect, communication, and shared values. Wants, on the other hand, are desires or preferences that may not be essential for the success of a relationship.
When we solely focus on our wants, we risk overlooking our needs and compromising our emotional well-being. It’s important to assess whether the person we’re attracted to can genuinely meet our needs in a sustainable way. This requires looking beyond the initial charm or physical attraction and evaluating their character, compatibility, and the overall quality of the relationship.
Chapter 3: Addictive Thoughts: A Comparative Study with Drugs & Social Media
To gain further insight into addictive thoughts, it’s helpful to compare them to other forms of addiction, such as drug addiction or social media addiction. Like drugs, addictive thoughts create a craving and a dependence on the temporary relief they provide. We become trapped in a cycle of chasing after the elusive “high,” even though we know deep down that it’s not leading to genuine happiness or fulfillment.
Similar to social media, addictive thoughts can create unhealthy patterns and consume a significant amount of our time and energy. We may constantly check for updates or fantasize about the person, hoping for validation or connection. This distraction from reality prevents us from addressing our true emotional needs and seeking out healthier relationships.
Breaking free from addictive thoughts requires self-awareness, acceptance, and a willingness to let go of what isn’t serving us. It can be challenging to detach from someone we’ve idealized, but by recognizing the harmful pattern and refocusing on our needs, we can break free from the cycle of unhealthy attractions and find a relationship that truly brings us joy and fulfillment.
In conclusion, addictive thoughts in wrong relationships can be incredibly powerful, leading us to become infatuated with someone who isn’t right for us. By understanding the psychology behind these thoughts, distinguishing between needs and wants, and comparing them to other forms of addiction, we can begin to break free from these patterns and build healthier relationships in the future.