Home Grown Headaches: Trump & Bukele Tag-Team Deportation Drama

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When Supreme Court rulings meet presidential posturing and pupusas, you get one big home grown political mess.

You ever plant something in your backyard, only for your neighbor to say, “Nah, that’s mine now”? That’s pretty much what happened in the White House this week. Only instead of tomatoes, it was Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia—a Maryland man who got deported like he was a bad haircut, even though the Supreme Court said, “Hey, bring him back.”

But President Trump and his new bestie, El Salvador’s Nayib Bukele (a.k.a. “President B” if you’re following Trump on Truth Social), made it clear in the Oval Office: nope, not gonna happen. Garcia’s not coming back, no matter how many gavels the justices bang.

The Supreme Court Said “Facilitate” — Team Trump Heard “Forget About It”

Here’s the drama: Abrego Garcia, who came to the U.S. in 2011, had a deportation order paused in 2019 after an immigration judge realized that going back to El Salvador would get him killed over his family’s pupusa business. Yes, you read that right. Pupusas. Delicious? Yes. Deadly? Apparently.

But someone at immigration hit “yeet” on his file anyway, and poof—Garcia was gone.

Now, even though the Supreme Court ruled the U.S. has to facilitate his return (that means help, not ignore), Trump’s team is acting like the order was written in invisible ink. They’re saying it’s El Salvador’s choice—and President Bukele’s not playing ball.

“I hope you’re not suggesting I smuggle a terrorist into the United States,” Bukele said, casually comparing a pupusa victim to a James Bond villain. He called the whole idea “preposterous.” Meanwhile, we’re all sitting here thinking, “What’s actually preposterous is this whole conversation.”

Home Grown Confusion in the Oval Office

At Monday’s Oval Office meeting, Trump leaned into his all-star team—Attorney General Pam Bondi, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, and everyone’s favorite immigration whisperer, Stephen Miller—to say, “Look, we’d send a plane, but that’s it. The rest is on El Salvador.”

Pam Bondi explained the Supreme Court’s order like a frustrated substitute teacher. “We facilitate his return,” she said. “As in, we book the flight. We don’t kidnap the man and smuggle him back under a trench coat.”

Meanwhile, Trump Wants to Deport More “Home Grown” Baddies

But don’t think this is just about Garcia. Nope. Trump made it clear that he’s got his eye on all the “homegrown” troublemakers. You know, violent U.S. citizens who’ve been marinating right here in the homeland like forgotten leftovers. And he wants to send them south too.

“If it’s a homegrown criminal, I have no problem,” Trump said with the enthusiasm of someone returning a blender to Costco with no receipt. “Really bad people. Every bit as bad as the ones coming in.”

That’s right—Trump’s now talking about outsourcing our very own home grown criminals to El Salvador’s mega-prison CECOT. For a small fee, of course. Think of it as Airbnb for felons… with shackles and less Wi-Fi.

Welcome to CECOT: The Airbnb of Authoritarian Dreams

CECOT is the infamous Terrorism Confinement Center—a facility that looks like it was designed by a dystopian interior designer who thinks orange is the new black. On Sunday, El Salvador released a shiny promo video of 10 new inmates getting marched in like extras from a reboot of The Shawshank Redemption: Central American Edition.

And while human rights groups are screaming louder than a middle school talent show, Trump is giving Bukele two thumbs up.

“I think he’s doing a fantastic job,” Trump said on Air Force One, probably while sipping a Diet Coke and scrolling through UFC highlights. “He’s taking care of a lot of problems that we have.”

The Home Grown Logic Loop

Let’s unpack the home grown logic here:

A U.S. man gets deported by mistake.
The Supreme Court says he should be brought back.
Trump says, “Sure, if El Salvador wants to return him.”
Bukele says, “LOL, nope.”
Trump shrugs and starts talking about shipping out more people—including Americans.

If your head is spinning, you’re not alone. It’s like watching a sitcom written by lawyers, but nobody’s following the script.

And just to spice things up, the administration is relying on the Alien Enemies Act—a dusty old law from the War of 1812—to justify these deportations. It’s the legal equivalent of using a butter knife to fix your Wi-Fi router.

Human Rights Groups: “What Fresh Hell Is This?”

Human rights folks are losing sleep over this bromance between Trump and Bukele. The two leaders are now swapping prisoners like Pokémon cards, while the rest of us are wondering how we got here.

Bukele—who proudly calls himself the “world’s coolest dictator” and the “philosopher king” (seriously, that’s not satire)—is living his best strongman life. And with Trump praising him like he’s the Elvis of incarceration, it’s no wonder El Salvador’s leader is trending harder than your Aunt Carol’s sourdough starter.

Final Thoughts: Keep It Home Grown, Not Half-Baked

In the land of the free and the home of the home grown, you’d think we’d figure out how to follow a court ruling without turning it into a reality show. But here we are: trying to re-import a man whose only crime was trying to avoid death-by-pupusa.

Meanwhile, our leaders are swapping jailhouse favors and redefining deportation like it’s a new TikTok trend.

So next time someone tells you politics is boring, just say two words: Home Grown drama. It’s served hot, messy, and with a side of “Did that really just happen?”

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